A survey of the Harris County Medical Society confirms what we already know about health insurance. It's not working. When surveyed about the top six health insurers in the Houston area, 70% of the doctors said that insurance companies had denied claims for medically necessary procedures.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

When I first heard O'Reilly speaking about Sylvia's Restaurant, I began a series of gestures more appropriate for my pet terrier. My head cocked to the side, my eyes widened, and my eyebrows shifted forward indicating a vain and futile attempt at comprehension. In case your home is located somewhere below a rock, O'Reilly said the following: